OpenAI's valuation soars to $122 billion though most funding comes as compute credits rather than cash. Meanwhile Bitcoin receives its first major credit rating from Moody's, Microsoft commits $7 billion to Texas energy infrastructure for AI operations, and the Department of Labor opens 401(k)s to private equity investments amid widespread resistance.

Wednesday, April 1, 2026 — 364 words / ~2.4 min

Today's Top Stories:

  1. OpenAI Raised $122 Billion But Most of It Isn't Real Money
  2. Bitcoin Gets Its First Credit Rating from Moody's and Wall Street Takes Notice
  3. DOL Opens Your 401(k) to Private Equity Despite Industry Pushback
  4. Microsoft Drops $7 Billion on a Texas Power Plant to Feed Its AI Hunger
  5. OpenAI Now Worth More Than Coca-Cola After $122B Raise